How My Identity Has Evolved as an Assistant Principal

By: Dr. Sonia A. Matthew, NBCT

I loved being a classroom teacher. I still do. But stepping into the assistant principal role required letting go of the part of me that needed to be the expert in every room. It required a deeper shift in the evolution of my identity.

At first, my role felt like endless firefighting. I was the disciplinarian, the problem solver, the “fixer” for everything that went wrong. But over time, I realized that leadership at this level is not about proving you can still teach. It’s about multiplying your impact through others.

In The Assistant Principal Identity, Principal Baruti Kafele challenges APs to define who they are beyond tasks and titles. This resonated deeply with me. Assistant principals do not struggle because they lack skill. We struggle when we haven’t fully embraced who we are meant to be in this role.

You were hired because you were qualified. You were likely an excellent teacher. But you are no longer in one classroom. You are in a whole school. You are no longer the classroom expert. You are a systems leader. The shift from “my classroom” to “our building” is where real growth lives and it is hard, humbling, and deeply rewarding work.

Bite-Sized Leadership in Action

Recently, I worked with a teacher who was overwhelmed. Not disengaged, not resistant, just overwhelmed. I could relate. I, too, feel overwhelmed at times. I don’t hide it, because I want my teachers to know I am human. Leadership does not require perfection; it requires presence, patience, and intentional support.

My first instinct, as a former teacher, was to:

• Rewrite lesson plans
• Model the entire instructional block
• Fix everything at once

But that would have proven I could still teach. It would not have built him.

Instead, we focused on one area: lesson openings.

We worked on:

• A consistent morning warm-up routine
• Posting and referencing a clear learning target
• Embedding one strong check for understanding in the first 15 minutes

No overhaul. Just small, intentional improvement.

Two weeks later:

• Students entered with more purpose
• Transitions improved
• Engagement during the first part of class increased

Small wins. Then we added the next layer: tightening success criteria. Baby steps.

This reinforced a central truth for me: my role is not to shine in the classroom. It is to multiply impact through teachers. Leadership is not about speed. It is about sustainability.

1️⃣ Focus on One Thing at a Time

When a teacher struggles, it’s tempting to fix everything: lesson structure, classroom management, questioning, pacing. But overwhelming teachers stifles growth.

Instead, narrow the focus. Ask:

What is the one next move that would make the biggest difference?

It might be:

• A stronger lesson opening
• Clearer directions
• One consistent check for understanding

Small improvements build confidence. Confidence builds momentum. Growth happens step by step, not all at once.

2️⃣ Ask More Than You Tell

As former teachers, we know exactly what we would do. But instructional leadership is not about giving all the answers. It’s about developing thinking.

Instead of saying:

“Here’s what you need to change.”

Try asking:

• “What felt strongest in that lesson?”
• “Where did students seem confused?”
• “What would tighten that transition?”

When teachers reflect, they own the growth. When they own it, it sticks.

3️⃣ Celebrate Small Wins

Teachers work hard. Many are overwhelmed. If we only point out what needs improvement, we drain morale.

Intentionally recognize progress:

• “Your directions were much clearer today.”
• “Students transitioned faster this week.”
• “Your questioning pushed their thinking.”

Small wins matter. When teachers feel seen, they lean in.

Embracing the Assistant Principal Identity

Reading The Assistant Principal Identity reminded me: this role is not an add-on. It is foundational to who we are and how others see us.

We are culture shapers. Instructional drivers. Capacity builders.

But only if we fully embrace the identity. Assistant principalship is not about proving you can still teach. It is about ensuring strong instruction is happening in every classroom, every day. Even when it is not yet perfect, you know because you are present. You see the environment. You engage with students and teachers. And you show up in ways that support growth without adding pressure.

I am still learning. The patience is hard. The growth takes time.

But my passion for instruction has expanded. Because this is bigger than one classroom.

Our students deserve it. Our teachers need it.

When we embrace our identity as instructional leaders, our leadership expands, our impact multiplies, and our influence deepens.

There are moments when feedback does not land as intended. Tension can rise. Frustration can occur. In those moments, reflection is key. As Principal Kafele often says, sometimes you have to “get out that mirror.”

It is not about being right. It is not about ego. It is about students. And we can only reach students when we build up the people who stand in front of them every day.

Instead of withdrawing, I recalibrate. I ask:

How can I re-approach this in a way that builds trust?
What small win can we focus on together?

This work is not about winning arguments. It is about winning hearts. It is about patience. It is about persistence. It is about believing in teachers, even when growth feels slow.

One small win at a time.
One strengthened practice at a time.
One relationship at a time.

Leadership at the assistant principal level is layered. It is patient. It is intentional. And when we embrace our identity fully, our impact extends far beyond any single classroom.

That is how we honor why we entered this profession. That is how we truly embrace the assistant principal identity. That is how our leadership ultimately serves the students who deserve our very best.