Leading While Human: Finding Grace, Space, and Golden Nuggets at the Finish Line

By: Dr. Sonia A. Matthew, Ed.D.

The end of the school year is a beautiful, chaotic, and downright exhausting whirlwind. If we are being completely honest, the sheer volume of "busyness" at this time of the year can feel absolutely crazy. You try to get ahead, but the finish line keeps moving. Lately, in almost every conversation I have with fellow educators, the sentiment is the same: "I feel like I am drowning."

My immediate, deeply human thought? Thank goodness I am not the only one.

It feels never-ending, and this June stretch is exactly when the fatigue hits us the most. Yet, in the middle of the storm, I find myself fiercely guarding my purpose. I want to keep my joy. I want to keep my composure. I want to show up strong for my students, my staff, and my community. To do that, I’ve found myself talking to myself, coaching my own heart, and constantly encouraging myself to just keep going.

But I haven't been walking this road alone. I have spent this past month recording the second season of the Leading While Human podcast with my phenomenal co-host, Sean Gaillard. Let me tell you, the learning from our upcoming guests has provided exactly what my soul needed. These "little golden nuggets" didn't just resonate with me, they resonated deeply, right in the trenches of leadership.

Whether you are already done for the year or you have two weeks left that feel like an absolute eternity, we all have so much to do and balance. I wanted to write this blog to pass along these gifts of wisdom. If they helped me immensely, I know they can help you hang on too.

The Power of the Pause: A Lesson in Grace

Before we dive into the wisdom of our guests, I have to share a vulnerable moment from my own week. On Friday afternoon, I found myself harping on a substitute teacher. Not long after, a classroom teacher came to me, completely transparent, and apologized for harping on a student in front of me earlier that day.

In that exact moment, a mirror was held up to my leadership. That is exactly what I should do for that substitute, I thought to myself.

I didn’t wait. I texted the substitute immediately to apologize and bridge the gap.

Give grace. Be human. It matters.

Despite all the crushing stress we feel as school leaders, we have to pause. We have to reflect. We need to look in the mirror and say to ourselves: “You got this. You were put in this position for a reason.” But to survive it, you must remember exactly what you are doing this for: the people.

To help you ground yourself this week, let me share just a few profound takeaways from our recordings. I literally walk around the hallways of my building thinking about these gems, and I hope they stick with you, too.

1. Dr. Amy Perez Matthews: WE-go over EGO

When Sean and I were talking with Dr. Amy Perez Matthews, I shared with her my observation that so many people in leadership spaces are driven by a strong ego. She stopped me in my tracks with something truly profound: "WE go, not EGO."

What a brilliant nugget to keep in your pocket. Why does this matter so much right now? Ego gets us trapped inside our own heads, isolating us from the very people we serve. It reminds me of the life-changing book Leadership and Self-Deception, which is written as a powerful parable about how we unwittingly betray our own relationships and view others as obstacles rather than people.

In Education, we must constantly catch ourselves when we fall into the trap of "I" statements. Dr. Perez’s golden nugget reminds us that our work is entirely about us together, not ourselves. When the ego shrinks, the collective capacity of the school community grows.

2. Julia Bialeski: Creating a Longer Table

Our next guest is deeply people-oriented, and as a fellow Marylander, let me tell you, her heart for community is unmatched! I could go on and on about her desire to bring people together and invest in them, but because I am limiting myself to one thing, I have to point you to a gesture she made on LinkedIn.

Julia is creating a literal and figurative table at the upcoming joint ISTE and ASCD conference, welcoming others to break bread and be edified. While it’s not a traditional conversational nugget, it is a leadership gesture like no other. This is selflessness in action.

When we bring people together and actively encourage one another, we realize a beautiful truth: there is so much room on this long table for all of us to win. Maya Angelou famously said that people won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. Imagine the profound impact of inviting a tired, overwhelmed educator to the table simply because they share your passion for this amazing work. When we see that unity before our eyes, there is absolutely nothing we cannot achieve together.

3. Lyndsey Cannon: The Golden Question for Clarity

Lyndsey Cannon, the founder of Reify, speaks beautifully about leading through a shared lens. Her framework is an absolute game-changer for school operations because she focuses so heavily on the "before, after, and in-between" of school design.

Her golden nugget comes in the form of a single, stabilizing question anchored to your school-wide vision:

"When this becomes true, what does it mean for students?"

Think about how grounding that is. School leaders, when you are walking down the hallway, feeling unfocused, pulled in fifty directions, and desperately seeking clarity, ask yourself that question. It instantly cuts through the administrative noise and brings you right back to the focal point of why you do the work. Lyndsey’s focus on the co-creation of work keeps us human, aligned, and deeply student-centered.

4. Charle Peck: Seeing Nervous Systems, Not Just Behavior

What this next upcoming guest shared genuinely changed my life. Seriously. We often hear the advice to "look at people as humans every day to help you through," but Charle Peck challenges us to go deeper: See them as nervous systems.

I vowed a long time ago that I would never forget what it feels like to be a classroom teacher. But if I am being transparent, under the crushing weight of leadership, I found myself starting to forget the physiological reality of stress. I cannot forget what it feels like to face intense pressure, tackle a massive challenge, make a tough decision, or navigate accountability with stakeholders above me. It takes an immediate toll on my body.

Neuroscience tells us that our nervous systems are constantly scanning our environments for safety or threat. When an educator or a student is dysregulated, screaming, shutting down, or pushing back, their sympathetic nervous system is trapped in a fight-or-flight response. As leaders, we aren't just managing personalities or behaviors; we are navigating a building filled with interconnected, stressed-out nervous systems, little children and adults alike. When we look inward and recognize how stress affects our own biology, we can co-regulate with others rather than matching their chaos.

5. Sabrina Henry: Finding Psychological Safety

The dynamic Sabrina Henry, who trailblazer’s community engagement for ISTE, reminded me of the vital importance of spaces where we can truly let our guard down. She highlighted the incredible virtual affinity spaces available for educators, places designed specifically for identity markers.

As someone who was born and raised in Canada to East Indian parents who immigrated from a poor background, navigating certain educational spaces can sometimes feel incredibly heavy. Carrying the unspoken weight of representation and identity can become a quiet, burdensome weight.

Hearing Sabrina talk about these spaces made me realize how important it is to find a corner of the educational world carved out just for you. Finding your specific affinity space allows you to be completely psychologically and emotionally safe. It gives you permission to pull up a chair, unpack your bags, and finally let the weight go.

6. Amanda Austin: Intentionality and School Culture

Our very first episode of Season 2 drops today, and our guest, Amanda Austin, shares the incredible success she has found in her schools down in Louisiana. In her podcast, she gives the blueprint for anyone trying to build an environment where people actually want to show up and thrive: it all comes down to intentionality in relationships and culture building.

Amanda reminds us that a positive school culture doesn't just happen by accident, and it certainly isn't built on surface-level perks. It requires fierce intentionality. Every interaction, every check-in, and every system we design must purposefully pour into the people inside the building. When you anchor your school culture in genuine, intentional relationships, you create a protective buffer that shields your staff from burnout, even during the heaviest seasons of the year. Her insights are a true delight and the perfect kickoff to our new season.

The Story Behind the Podcast: A Tribute to Sean Gaillard

I cannot close out this blog without giving a special shout-out to my incredible co-host, Sean Gaillard. We commit to recording these podcast series together, and even though we are both drowning in our own daily schedules, sitting down at the microphone never feels like work. It is a genuine gift. Every connection and every golden nugget fuels my soul.

There is a beautiful story behind how Sean and I connected. Last year, Sean reached out to me. He saw something in me that I hadn't yet fully embraced myself, and he asked me to be a guest on his podcast.

Do you want to know a human secret? I told him no.

But Sean, practicing what he preaches, looked at my story and my desire to serve others, and he refused to let me stay hidden. He told me, "Sonia, others need to hear your story." Sean’s continued push led to us launching our very first collaborative series in February 2026, and now here we are launching Season 2 today.

Sean, you are a true gift to this world. The way you intentionally bring people together and connect hearts to advance this work is a rarity, and I am deeply honored to co-host this space with you.

Join the Movement

To every educational leader reading this: join the movement of Leading While Human. All are welcome at this table. Remember that leading while human means you are just that; human. While some people or circumstances may try to make you feel like a single mistake defines you, listen to me: that is their issue, not yours.

Yes, it requires a constant, daily reminder to keep our egos in check, protect our nervous systems, and give immediate grace. But it matters. If you are liked by everyone, you aren’t truly leading.

Take a deep breath. We are hitting the finish line together. You can find our Season 1 episodes on my website, drsoniamatthew.com. Season 2 starts today, so tune in, grab the golden nuggets and let's finish this year strong together, while being human first!